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I Can't Keep Doing This

by Canopy Hands

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    album art by Rachael Boswell and Thomas Hickman

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1.
Urgent! 05:16
The deepest dream I fall between Each time I breathe All the good things, bad things Grenadine Intangible but Completely seen Good things, bad things Saccharine A shepherd moon Surrendering Its agency Wants to be involved in Greater things Prometheus, yeah The satellite Provider of the light I raised the bar Refused the help I'm used to doing Every part of it myself Anthropocene we're dreaming up our Own undoing Stare at the sun (stare at the sun) Just because I'm needing some light (needing some light) In my life I'm sleepless tonight (sleepless tonight) Out of strife, that's irony The urgency arrived And it's been here Waiting for us to notice Time was never on our side Now we stare Deep into its eyes Reflected sky In your eyes The haze from the fire All around And ash on the ground Are we found Or are we lost? Stare at the sun (stare at the sun) Just because I'm needing some light (needing some light) In my life I'm sleepless tonight (sleepless tonight) Out of strife, that's irony The urgency arrived And it's been here Waiting for us to notice Time was never on our side Now we stare Deep into its eyes The urgency arrived And it's been here Waiting for us to notice Time was never on our side Now we stare Deep into its eyes
2.
IKB 02:55
Supervillain drag star Gold and white Goyard Truly glowing, and she works hard Make 'em livid, tell 'em "Do your worst now" Had a friend move out to Cali Art director, six-digit salary Don't gotta clock in for the hourly no, no I just wanna sign the sky To the other side (A leap into the void) (We gotta make the choice) To the other side (A leap into the void) (We gotta make the choice) To the other side (A leap into the void) (I wanted to avoid) (But now we made the choice) (Completely overjoyed) I got friends who make waves We were from the same place I just wanna be eating off my plate Some of y'all won't rep me until it's too late Had a friend move up to Brooklyn Now she's copping gilded marble bookends I want a taste of what she's cooking oh, yeah I just wanna make a stride To the other side (A leap into the void) (We gotta make the choice) To the other side (A leap into the void) (We gotta make the choice) To the other side (A leap into the void) (I wanted to avoid) (But now we made the choice) (Completely overjoyed) (Um, I think you just sort of...) (You drift around in this, sort of, strange fantasy world...) (Sometimes you just need to get back and...) (Live your life in order to...) (Really want to carry on with what you were doing...) (Um, I needed just to get away)
3.
Dextro 03:05
Up at 5:00 Now the day is mine, got my laces tied Walk a mile in the pounding rain That's not justified, but it's fine I can make it mine, give it a little time I'm not lying, I can keep on trying Dry the tears I cry I feel the stimulation lately I know you think I can I still don't have a plan I feel the stimulation lately I know you want me to No one else but you Maybe I Shouldn't try Another time Another time Gone so far But left behind Another time Another time My design, changing all the time Keep me on the grind I just grind, pay the lames no mind Never satisfied, but I try I can make it mine, give it a little time I'm not lying, I can keep on trying Dry the tears I cry I feel the stimulation lately I know you think I can I still don't have a plan I feel the stimulation lately I know you want me to No one else but you Maybe I Shouldn't try Another time Another time Gone so far But left behind Another time Another time I feel the stimulation lately I know you think I can I still don't have a plan I feel the stimulation lately I know you want me to No one else but you I feel the stimulation lately I know you think I can I still don't have a plan I feel the stimulation lately I know you want me to No one else but you Maybe I Shouldn't try Another time Another time Gone so far But left behind Another time Another time
4.
Age old, made from the mould You can call me an outlier But I'm not sold, the narrative told Refuses to admit it and I'm tired Can I even be honest with Myself? I'll start with a promise I vow never be trod on Right now, I'm letting you know where Tom is They want to give me an interview but They won't use the pronouns I want 'em to I don't have the patience, I say "we're through" I don't have the patience, I say "we're through" We were dancing to Makossa Now we're dazed off on mimosas We were dancing to DJ Bembona I like dancing a little bit slower (I like dancing a little bit-) I like having a guest come on over Ain't a bop but for sure it's a grower Sick of doing this shit for exposure Not on top but another step closer I won't lecture A non-believer There aren't two sides Maybe I'm neither My reflection Into the ether (Into the ether) We just whisper "Maybe I'm neither" I admire Those who inquire At least they try Disappointed Those who avoid it I pass them by Can I even be honest with Myself? I'll start with the promise that I vow never be trod on Right now, I'm letting you know where Tom is They want to give me an interview but They won't use the pronouns I want 'em to I don't have the patience, I say "we're through" I won't lecture A non-believer There aren't two sides Maybe I'm neither My reflection Into the ether We just whisper (we just whisper) "Maybe I'm neither" (maybe I'm neither) I'm not here to Be the appeaser It's not both sides Maybe I'm neither Always treat me Like a deceiver We just Whisper "Maybe I'm neither" I won't lecture A non-believer There aren't two sides (aren't two sides) Maybe I'm neither (there aren't two sides) My reflection Into the ether We just Whisper "Maybe I'm neither" I'm not here to Be the appeaser It's not both sides Maybe I'm neither Always treat me Like a deceiver We just Whisper
5.
Lo-Brow 03:57
My phone is broken glass and missed connections Our home is ember glow and lacquered cherry Your clothes are sunbeam dream and Space to breathe deeply, whispering sweetly My bone is sinew, stone, and polystyrene Now my mind doesn't wander anymore But that's why we make the sacrifices Cuz I'd rather have my device Than to be left to my own devices We are like the people over at the Rec Room Listen to those loud tunes, hope we don't go deaf soon My approach is low-brow, working in my bedroom Gotta leave this old town, gotta leave some headroom Now my mind doesn't wander anymore But that's why we make the sacrifices Cuz I'd rather have my device Than to be left to my own devices Now my mind doesn't wander anymore But that's why we make the sacrifices Cuz I'd rather have my device Than to be left to my own devices Now my mind doesn't wander anymore But that's why we make the sacrifices Cuz I'd rather have my device Than to be left to my own devices You are my distraction Living in the moment Sober for the weekend Fireflies and coffee Politics and Gaudí All the things you show me I am truly sorry If I seem too eager, I just wanna...
6.
Ten days before I turned twenty-two I changed my mind about you Ten days before I turned twenty-two I changed my mind about you Did I expect too much regret? Guess I thought you'd be upset Don't make me hold a grudge against Who you're seeing, I'm obsessed You're on your way now I miss you angel I wish that I could reach out Its been all day now I miss you angel I wish that I could reach out & touch & touch You had me convinced and so we tried I was jealous inside I met someone, we fooled around Ten days before I turned twenty-two I changed my mind about you Ten days before I turned twenty-two I changed my mind about you You're on your way now I miss you angel I wish that I could reach out Its been all day now I miss you angel I wish that I could reach out & touch & touch Ten days before I turned twenty-two Ten days before I turned twenty-two Did I expect too much regret? Guess I thought you'd be upset Don't make me hold a grudge against Who you're seeing, I'm obsessed
7.
Falls 03:10
Afraid of heights Afraid to fall into the sky Overcast and grey Reminding me of NYC I wonder 'bout your day And do you feel the same way? (feel the same way) If you'd hit my phone I'd tell you all you want to know Am I taking care or letting go? Breaking ties and making strides Gotta drink more water (Gotta drink more water) The start of getting stronger That's my energy this time Evian my bottle (Gotta drink more water) To feel a little taller Making strides Everybody falls sometimes (sometimes) Try to have some empathy (Everybody falls sometimes) (-body falls sometimes) And if I Had to offer life advice Try and think of something else instead Breaking ties and making strides Gotta drink more water (Gotta drink more water) The start of getting stronger That's my energy this time Evian my bottle (Gotta drink more water) To feel a little taller (Gotta drink more water) (Gotta drink more water)
8.
Our Love 03:32
Often I'm exhausted I don't do the talking Got some tea, know it can be shocking Thank you for your patience Patience when I'm talking Can't get out of bed Can't bring myself to clock in Feeling ill from all the stressing (all the stressing) No one wants to hear it, it's all so depressing Nothing much to look towards Any future day for Dreaming of a world tour Never stop the hustle, it's all that I can hope for I've been in a dark place Finding out the hard way (hard way) I'm afraid this feeling is a mainstay Did I miss my chances, am I already too late? Your heart is mine to break (heart is mine to break) It's not that I want to There ain't no other way (ain't no other way) I hate to say Your heart is mine to break (heart is mine to break) It's not that I want to There ain't no other way Our love is fragile but It's holding up out lives Holding up our lives Our love is fragile but It's holding up our lives Holding up our lives Scared to tell my parents They could never bare it If you can't hide the shame then you wear it I've done a lot of damage I'm trying to repair it Your heart is mine to break It's not that I want to There ain't no other way I hate to say Your heart is mine to break It's not that I want to There ain't no other way But you're my bae
9.
Plum 03:51
Leaving you would tear me in two, two Setting sun, we've had all of our fun, fun I can't keep doing this I can't keep doing this I can't keep doing this I- Leaving you would tear me in two, two Setting sun, we've had all of our fun, fun Thought it through, what else am I to do, do? Autumn plum, what else am I to you, you? I'm not your holy ghost I'm not your holy ghost anymore I'm not your holy ghost Leaving you would tear me in two, two Setting sun, we've had all of our fun, fun Thought it through, what else am I to do, do? Autumn plum, what else am I to you, you?
10.
Luminaire 04:11
Let go of the past Nothing's the same when we Try to make it last As I'm driving fast No one around my Reflection in the glass We've had our problems And I don't know What I can do to make it up to you, you We've had our problems And I don't know Am I all alone or am I right at home? We've had our problems And I don't know What I can do to make it up to you, you We've had our problems And I don't know What I can do to solve 'em Can't keep having days Where I dissociate Give me validation to Pull me through the haze Dull these other pains We can go for a ride and we'll Be out pretty late Touch my arm We've been here before You gave me your jacket to hold Luminaire Out in the cold On I-95 we consoled We've had our problems And I don't know What I can do to make it up to you, you We've had our problems And I don't know Am I all alone or am I right at home? We've had our problems And I don't know What I can do to make it up to you, you We've had our problems And I don't know What I can do to solve 'em We've had our problems And I don't know What I can do to make it up to you We've had our problems And I don't know What I can do to solve 'em :)

credits

released June 1, 2019

all songs written, mixed, and produced by Canopy Hands

Canopy Hands is:
Thomas Hickman - vocals, guitars, synths, drums, bass
Christopher Scheu - guitars, synths, piano, bass
Fisher Wilson - bass, piano, synths
Robert Johnson - synths, vocals
Jose Rangel - drums, percussion, vocals

also featured:
Conner Mills - alto saxophone on "Urgent!", "Falls", "Our Love", and "Luminaire"
Samuel Hickman - alto saxophone on "Urgent!" and "Falls"
Zachery Douglas - trumpet on "Falls"

mastered by Amy Marie at Yes Master Studios
album art by Rachael Boswell

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Canopy Hands Charleston, South Carolina

Thomas Hickman
Christopher Scheu
Fisher Wilson
Robert Johnson
Jose Rangel

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